Shooting Wide Open

Speaking of beauty and glamor, Jesse Rosten made a spoof video shilling Photoshop as a beauty product.

(via Future Journalism Project)

Blake has gone and done it. A hilarious transformation of a funny little book whose cousin I happen to have on my very own bookshelf.

Jennifer Collier

I never knew photography was such a dangerous past-time.
- Midsomer Murders: A Picture of Innocence

Leave it to the British to dramatize the film vs digital divide and squeeze a murder mystery out of what is essentially a giant flame war.

The feature opens with a territorial scuffle between a grey-haired, vest-donning, film-loading gentleman and a young, coarse-tongued, Nikon-tank-wielding ruffian over a tree (is there a more appropriate symbol for pissing contest?) which leads to the revelation that the local photographic society has decided not to accept any digital images in the annual juried exhibition. (gasp!)

Before the second half devolves into a somewhat sordid case of glamor shots (in the technical rather than descriptive sense, if you know what I mean) and mistaken identity, the movie manages to mate every murder mystery trope in the book with a slew of photographic insider jokes. I have to work pretty hard to fight the temptation to spoil every surprise, but suffice it to say that they make fun of typologies, gearlust (“chronic dissatisfaction – the modern disease”) and a man is strangled with the cord of his own lightmeter. (O woe!)

The writers squeeze in pure gems of dialogue. In light of evidence indicating manipulation with Photoshop:

“And they say cameras don’t lie.”
“Cameras don’t lie. People do.”
“People with computers.”

Of course, the best and most acerbic lines are delivered by the film snob, who is a vision of refined behavior. I’m almost disappointed that we can’t live up to this in real life. From what I can see, we are an unruly bunch… I have yet to meet one mild-mannered film snob. But it makes sense – would a mild-mannered person make speeches like this?

“Look how the light glows. A light-filled moment passing for a fraction of a second through the finest glass to be captured forever on a wisp of silver nitrate. No batteries, gentlemen. No microchips. And no damn pixels.”

Brilliantly sarcastic responses to completely well meaning signs

(Thanks Bill!)

Nerd Boyfriend

The 30 Steps to Mastery

1. Start
2. Keep going.
3. You think you’re starting to get the hang of it.
4. You see someone else’s work and feel undeniable misery.
5. Keep going.
6. Keep going.
7. You feel like maybe, possibly, you kinda got it now.
8. You don’t.
9. Keep going.
10. You ask for someone else’s opinion–their response is standoffish, though polite.
11. Depression.
12. Keep going.
13. Keep going.
14. You ask someone else’s opinion–their response is favorable.
15. They have no idea what they’re talking about.
16. Keep going.
17. You feel semi-kinda favorable and maybe even a little proud of what you can do now.
18. Self-loathing chastisement.
19. Depression
20. Keep going.
21. You ask someone else’s opinion–they respond quite favorably.
22. They’re still wrong.
23. Depression.
24. Keep going though you can’t possibly imagine why.
25. Become restless.
26. Receive some measure of praise from a trustworthy opinion.
27. They’re still fucking wrong (Right?)
28. Keep going just because there’s nothing else to do.
29. Mastery arrives, you mistake it for a gust of wind.
30. Keep. Fucking. Going.

(via Matthew Anderson of 350.org)

Keith Loutit‘s tilt-shift time lapses are amusing, especially this wrestling one.

That was the second time I’ve seen dancing in WWF fights. The first time?

I hadn’t realized it’d descended to this level of camp. But actually, isn’t it better than simple staged fights?

(Thanks Jeremiah and Ragnar.)